Colonoscopy, oscopy, oscopy

Before you exit this blog for fear of "TMI" do not despair. My goal here is to write a light hearted, optimistic view of why this rather uncomfortable procedure is a great idea for many of us- and to help me forget how dang nabbit awful it was.

Years ago my dad had colon cancer.  Thankfully, because of early detection, and a third of his colon removed shortly after, he is a healthy 70 year old who still enjoys an active lifestyle.

As a responsible adult (most of the time), my doctor's 41st birthday present to me was an introduction to one of the most respected Gastroenterologists.  Ok, yes, she's impressive and I am always thankful to meet wise, successful professionals.  However, we didn't meet for drinks, we met for a consult.

Needless to say, I'm always thankful to meet health professionals who effectuate the most undesirable work related procedures while still managing to smile as if serving ice cream to a small child.

Survey Says (Wen style):

• Failure to complete the required "Prep" the day prior to a colonoscopy may mean you get to do it again at a later date!  Super bad news for you.
• Successful completion of the required "Prep" can be painful but all is not lost- take the time on the throne to evaluate your bathroom floor and surroundings, and if a reno (or at least new floor tile) is due.  Or, read a good book.
• Drink plenty of water.  It's good for you no matter what.
• Don't plan on sleeping much the night before. Make it your night to watch that movie you love that no one else wants to watch with you.  But keep the remote handy- you'll need the pause button... often.
• Major bonus- after the procedure, the nurses will tell your significant other that they need to do the cooking for the remainder of the day. My experience is that men listen to nurses.
• The drugs given intravenously during the procedure will affect you the majority of the day and are a good excuse to lay around at home useless- or blog if your brain can manage it.
• You get to wear one of those cool plastic wrist bands home and can pretend you were at a resort rather than Surgical Ambulatory Care for the morning:

I do have to say this and will leave you to guess it's significance: 6 ft.

There you go.  I did it and managed to stay positive. You can too.  May you have a happy colon, and like me attempt to find humour in the most unusual places.

The end (no pun intended).